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What should i do after the break up?
Can You Be Friends After a Breakup?
Can You Be Friends After a Breakup?
Can You Be Friends After a Breakup?
Before you reach out ask yourself:
- Am I lonely?
- Do I want closure or comfort?
- Am I hoping they changed?
- Would hearing from them restart my pain?
- Am I reaching out because I miss them or because I fear being alone?
- Have I truly accepted the breakup?
Should I Unfollow or Block My Ex?
Can You Be Friends After a Breakup?
Can You Be Friends After a Breakup?
Normalize digital boundaries without shame. Protecting your peace, as you create healing space, should be your priority.
Why Social Media Retriggers Pain
- comparison
- false hope
- obsessive checking
- emotional relapse
- seeing them move on
Options After The Break Up
Options After The Break Up
Options After The Break Up
- Contact Them
- Stay Friends
- Unfollow
- Block
- Wait
- Pray
- Move On
Think through each option and consider:
- emotional considerations
- healthy/unhealthy reasons
- healing questions
- scripture encouragement
- consequences to think through
Before You Go Back
Options After The Break Up
Options After The Break Up
Familiar pain can feel safer than unfamiliar healing. Since healing takes time and and the pain doesn't go away over night, it is common to want to go back to the relationship. Before you do, consider the following:
- Has anything actually changed?
- Are you returning from healing or loneliness?
- Are boundaries now present?
- Did accountability replace excuses?
- Are you ignoring red flags because you miss them?
Before you make any decision... pray about it. Seek the voice and heart of God concerning the matter.
From Shay:
My heart shattered after heartbreak, but God repaired it. Healing takes time in His presence and trust in His word. I write books and created this space to help you heal from heartbreak. I recommend visiting the bookstore to continue your healing journey. Every book has been written with love, care and consideration of the season you're in. I've been there and you will get through this!
https://awe-inspiringyou.com/%F0%9F%93%98bookstore/ols/products
Process emotions before reopening wounds
Before Reaching Out: Emotional Check-In
Before Reaching Out: Emotional Check-In
Before Reaching Out: Emotional Check-In
Before you reach out ask yourself:
- Am I lonely?
- Do I want closure or comfort?
- Am I hoping they changed?
- Would hearing from them restart my pain?
- Am I reaching out because I miss them or because I fear being alone?
- Have I truly accepted the breakup?
What Are You Hoping Happens?
Before Reaching Out: Emotional Check-In
Before Reaching Out: Emotional Check-In
Be honest about what your heart is truly seeking.
Are you hoping for:
- reconciliation
- validation
- apology
- emotional comfort
- revenge
- attention
- loneliness relief
Are you prepared to accept and process the result of the interaction? Possible ghosting, silence, indifference
Pause Before You Text
Before Reaching Out: Emotional Check-In
Pause Before You Text
Sometimes heartbreak creates emotional urgency. But urgency is not always wisdom.
Missing someone does not automatically mean reconnecting is healthy.
- 24-hour pause challenge
- Prayer before contacting an ex
- Journal prompts
- Write the text out, save it, pray over it instead of impulsively sending an emotionally charged text
She Kept Going Back To What Broke Her — Until God Healed Her
Alyssa's Story
After the breakup, Alyssa tried to convince herself she was okay. But deep down, she felt emotionally shattered. The relationship had drained her for years. Her ex cheated repeatedly, lied constantly, avoided emotional accountability, and only seemed emotionally available when he feared losing her. Every time she tried to walk away, he would suddenly become affectionate again, apologize, make promises, and temporarily give her just enough attention to pull her back in.
And every time, she hoped things would finally change.
But they never truly did.
After their final breakup, the silence became unbearable. Alyssa struggled with loneliness, rejection, and emotional withdrawal from the toxic attachment she had formed. She missed him even though he hurt her. She missed the comfort, the routine, the emotional familiarity, and the hope that maybe one day he would become the man she needed him to be.
Instead of healing properly, Alyssa tried to numb the pain. She started going out constantly, surrounding herself with noise so she would not have to sit alone with her emotions. The partying became a distraction from heartbreak. Loud music covered emotional emptiness temporarily. Attention from others gave short moments of validation. Alcohol became an escape from overthinking. But every night eventually ended the same.
The emotions returned.
Some nights, after drinking, she impulsively texted her ex. Sometimes she called him crying. Other times she sent long emotional messages she regretted the next morning. Each conversation reopened the wound she was desperately trying to heal.
And whenever he responded with temporary affection, the emotional cycle started all over again. For a while, Alyssa considered going back to him completely.
Even though he cheated repeatedly.
Even though he lied.
Even though he was emotionally unavailable.
Even though the relationship exhausted her mentally.
Part of her still hoped love could fix what dysfunction kept destroying. Eventually, she took him back again. At first things felt exciting and hopeful. He promised change. He acted more attentive temporarily. But over time, the same unhealthy patterns slowly returned; emotional distance, dishonesty, inconsistency, broken trust, and emotional confusion.
The relationship collapsed again. That second breakup devastated her even more because now she realized something painful: She was not just heartbroken.
She was emotionally trapped in a cycle.
Alyssa finally reached a point where she became exhausted emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. One night after crying alone in her apartment, she realized no amount of partying, texting, overthinking, or reconnecting was actually healing her.
It was only delaying the pain.
That night she prayed honestly for the first time in a long time.
“God… I don’t know how to let this go. I keep running back to what keeps hurting me. Please heal me because I don’t want to live trapped in this cycle anymore.”
That prayer became the beginning of transformation.
Not overnight.
Not instantly.
But slowly.
Instead of chasing her ex emotionally, Alyssa started pursuing healing intentionally.
She began spending quiet mornings with God before checking her phone. She journaled honestly about her emotions instead of suppressing them. She started reading scripture about identity, healing, wisdom, peace, and self-worth. Worship music replaced some of the noise she once used to escape emotionally.
Little by little, she started changing her habits. Instead of drunk texting her ex at night, she:
- turned her phone off earlier
- stopped drinking heavily
- unfollowed triggering social media accounts
- spent time in healthier environments
- went on prayer walks
- joined a church small group
- started therapy and emotional healing work
- developed healthier friendships
- exercised consistently
- learned emotional boundaries
- started processing loneliness instead of numbing it
At first healing felt uncomfortable because she could no longer hide from herself emotionally. But God slowly began healing the deeper wounds underneath the relationship:
- fear of abandonment
- low self-worth
- emotional dependency
- trauma bonding
- loneliness
- unhealthy attachment
- fear of being alone
For the first time, Alyssa realized she had spent years begging for love from someone incapable of loving her in a healthy way. And through healing, God showed her something life-changing: Love should not constantly cost your peace.
As her relationship with God deepened, her identity slowly became stronger than her emotional attachment to the relationship. She stopped obsessively checking her ex’s social media. She stopped romanticizing the good moments while ignoring the unhealthy reality. She stopped confusing emotional intensity with healthy love.
Most importantly, she learned how to sit with herself peacefully again. Months later, Alyssa noticed something beautiful: The same silence that once made her panic no longer controlled her. God had healed parts of her that heartbreak exposed.
The woman who once begged for inconsistent love was now emotionally stronger, spiritually grounded, wiser, calmer, and no longer desperate for validation from someone who repeatedly broke her heart.
A Gentle Reminder
Sometimes people return to unhealthy relationships because they are attached emotionally, not healed internally.
But God can break unhealthy cycles.
He can heal:
- emotional dependency
- trauma bonds
- loneliness
- heartbreak
- insecurity
- fear of abandonment
- toxic attachment
And sometimes healing begins the moment someone stops running back to what keeps hurting them and finally allows God to restore their heart properly.
Continue the healing journey. Begin your trusting God era:
Healing before reacting
Protect Your Peace Like a Fortress
💌 From Shay: Healing is not always immediate, but every emotionally healthy decision moves you closer to peace. You do not have to rush your healing or reopen wounds just because you miss someone. Sometimes protecting your peace is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
If you need prayer, just ask!
You can submit a prayer request and I will pray for you. Trust me when I say, It's hard now, but with God, each day will get easier.